


The Careless Art of Breathing

by supernovainparadise



Series: Installing Humanity [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Twins, Detroit: Become Human Spoilers, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Half-Siblings, Eventual Romance, Gen, Hank Anderson is Connor and Upgraded Connor | RK900's Parent, Hurt No Comfort, It's Niles, Smoking, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22674337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernovainparadise/pseuds/supernovainparadise
Summary: A reflection on the life of Detective Connor Anderson, from Detroit, Michigan.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson & Connor
Series: Installing Humanity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631152
Kudos: 42





	The Careless Art of Breathing

Connor Anderson is technically the oldest of the Anderson boys. Granted, his twin is an inch or so taller, but Connor was born about five minutes beforehand, making him the elder of the two. Connor and Niles were brought into the world on July 7th, 2004, and have been making trouble ever since. And yet, their father wouldn't have it any other way.

Connor is five when it occurs to him that something is wrong with his mother. He is too young to tell what exactly it is, but he and Niles are old enough to recognize that there is something off, that there's something that isn't normal. The fact that she tends to withdraw for long periods of time and when it seems like she isn't really there at all and it's just their father taking care of them. When she frequently ends up going to the hospital, but they're never allowed to go with her or know what's wrong. At five years old, Connor doesn't want answers, he just wants the love and attention of his mother.

Connor is twelve when he realizes what's wrong with his mother. When he finally understands why she pulls away from him and his brother. He is twelve when he comes home crying to his father, with Niles at his side barely holding back his own tears. He tells him that one of the older boys at school told him that the reason his mother didn't pay any attention to them is that she didn't want them in the first place. He remembers his father finally sitting them down and letting them cry into his police uniform as he explains to them that their mother is depressed, that she is always sad and can't help that. Connor asks why she's depressed, and if they bully was right, and he never gets an answer, and that's an answer all by itself.

He hears Niles cry himself to sleep that night.

Connor is fourteen when he comes out to his father. He has never been more terrified in his life, but the secret is eating him up inside and he cannot keep it in any longer. He can hear his heart thumping in his chest when he tells his father that he has no interest in women, and his hands are clenched so tightly his knuckles are turning white. His father merely smiles and tugs him into his arms, and tells him that it's okay. That he loves him anyway, and his sexuality will never change that.

He is sixteen when he slams the door to his home open, where his mother is absent as always, and finally confronts his father. He is full of a dark rage he has never felt, and no matter how hard Niles tried to calm him down on the walk home, it does not change the stain spreading over his heart and the anger in his voice, and the tears in his eyes. 

"She's not really our mother, is she?" He says in a quiet, shaking voice as tears stain his freckled face and his hands quake.

His father just looks at him, a sad expression in his eyes, and says "No, she's not."

Connor is seventeen when he and Niles meet their real mother, buried under 6 feet of dirt. Seventeen when he learns the full truth of his life, and the full truth of his family. It's not what he first thought it was; their biological mother died giving birth to them, and their father remarried when they were merely a year old in an attempt to give them some semblance of family and to try and recover what they lost. But the woman they had grown up with had clinical depression, and though she tried to love Connor and Niles, the fact that they were not her children kept her distant and seemingly unloving.

Connor forgives her. Niles does not.

Connor is eighteen when he smokes his first cigarette. He does not like the taste it leaves in his mouth, and feel immensely guilty afterward, even though his friend assures him it's not a big deal. He thinks to himself that he will never smoke another for the rest of his life. A few months later, he decides to try it again, thinking that it won't be so bad this time. He is wrong, but before he knows it, it's become a habit, one he knows he should get rid of. Niles and his father remind him constantly that this will only lead to an early grave. Connor knows they're right, but it doesn't stop him from smoking anyways.

Connor is nineteen when he meets Elijah Kamski at the University of Michigan. They're roommates in the freshman dorms, and Elijah is studying computer science and engineering, while Connor pursues forensics and Niles goes into nursing. He is impressed by Elijah's skills and starts a tentative friendship with his half-brother Gavin, who is studying criminology. He has no idea where he will end up, and even less of an idea where Gavin and Elijah will end up. Has no idea how their lives might entangle past their days in college.

Connor is twenty-two when becomes a Detective for the Detroit Police Department. He is, to the irritation of many, assigned to the same precinct as his father. Niles goes onto nursing school, and though they are both busy, they always try to make time for one another. Connor is twenty-two when he investigates his first murder, and though he has seen human cadavers before in a lab, he has never seen one like this. Never with so much blood and the threat of a murderer hanging over his head. He is twenty-two when he solves his first murder case, with Gavin Reed as his partner.

Connor is twenty-five when his step-mother has Cole. The doctors are amazed that both of them are so stable, giving her age. He is jealous, at first, of the love and attention his little half-brother is getting, but that jealousy quickly slips away as he bonds with the new life. He remembers his father absolutely glowing and quietly wonders to himself what it must feel like to be a father. He knows that he will likely never have any biological children, but he wonders what it's like to hold a little life in your arms and know that you are responsible for that life. He stops smoking.

Connor is thirty-one when he gets the call. He rushes to the hospital to find his brother on his knees in the waiting room, still in his nursing uniform, and crying for the first time since he was twelve. His father is silent, staring at the ground with an empty expression. He doesn't need to ask what the outcome was.

He is fairly certain his heart breaks that day. He starts smoking again.

Connor is thirty-two when he dies. He is chasing their suspect through the streets of Detroit, shoving people and androids out of the way in an attempt to catch the man. Gavin is hot on his heels, and Connor can hear him breathing behind him. He follows his suspect into a dockside warehouse and manages to corner him. He does not notice that Gavin is no longer behind him, and he does not notice the men coming up behind him. He does notice the sudden smirk on the suspect's face as he straightens up. And a little too late, he turns around, only to be greeted with a bullet to the chest.

He dies on the way to the hospital, with Lieutenant Hank Anderson by his side.


End file.
